Kenneth Spends the Night at Liz
by Sleep.Sniff.Eat46
Summary: Not Kenneth/Liz. Liz feels emotional because she got rejected by another adoption agency. Kenneth comforts Liz and Liz asks him a slightly awkward question. *I do not own these characters. They belong to the creators of the show.*


**Kenneth spends the night at Liz's**

Pete is getting ready for the Dog on Jerry Springer sketch but he needs assistance from Liz Lemon, who is not on the set. Kenneth passes by and asks him to call Liz.

"Yes, sir!" replied Kenneth.

Kenneth goes into Liz Lemon's office and says, "Ms. Lemon, Mr. Hornberger – Oh good skittles, Ms. Lemon! Are you okay?"

Kenneth asks this question because he has found Liz lying under her desk facing the ceiling and crying.

"What? Oh, no Kenneth, I'm not okay." Replied Liz.

"What happened Ms. Lemon?" asks Kenneth.

"Oh, Kenneth, please. I don't want to talk about it."

"Please tell me. I'm all ears and ready to comfort you at your service, ma'am!"

"Well, alright. I got turned down by another adoption agency again and saying that I may be unstable to take care of the child. I really want a baby so bad!! I've tried almost all the agencies and I'm running out of options! And… -- "

Liz has started blubbering that the words she speaks are incomprehensible. Although, Kenneth did catch the words "bra" and "tape."

Five minutes later, she stops and Kenneth says, "Gee, Ms. Lemon, you seem to be in a huge dil pickle. I think you should just stay in here and cry the whole thing out. I'll just tell Mr. Hornberger that you're entertaining the president."

Before Liz could say another word, Kennth was gone. She starts eating Sabor de Soledad.

************

Kenneth runs over to Pete and Pete asks, "Kenneth, what took you so long?! And where's Liz?!"

"Well, Mr. Hornberger, Ms. Lemon is entertaining the president." Replies Kenneth

"What? The president is not in town today!"

"That's what he wants you to think!"

"Kenneth, you better tell me where Liz is before I snap your neck off!!"

"I can't tell you Mr. Hornberger, because it's confidential. She's going through a rough time right now. She got another rejection for the adoption agency – Oops. I guess I kinda blew it. You know, I'm usually good at keeping secrets. Like that time when Ms. Maroney threw up at Mr. Kid Rock when he slept over."

Josh suddenly chimes in, "What, Jenna threw up on Kid Rock?"

Frank also chimes in and says, "What? Jenna had sex with Kid Rock? I feel sorry for the dude."

Pete comes back to the topic about Liz Lemon. He says, "Fine. Just let her stay there. I'll take care of the sketch."

***********

Frank walks up to Jenna and says, "Hey, I heard you threw up on Kid Rock while you were having sex."

"What?! Kenneth!!!"

"Yes, Ms. Maroney?" Kenneth cheerfully answers.

"Why did you tell Frank that I threw up on Kid Rock?!"

("He also told Josh and Pete," added Frank)

"And Josh and Pete! Kenneth, that was supposed to be secret!!"

"I'm sorry, Ms. Marony. It was an accident. I'm usually good at keeping secrets. Like that time where Mr. Girard was trying on women's clothes and make up. – Oh sugar sticks! I did it again!!"

"Kenneth, you deserve a punishment," threatened Jenna.

"Okay, Ms. Maroney. I accept every punishment you give me because I deserve it."

***********

The day is almost through and many people are starting to go home. Kenneth is walking down the hallway, exhausted, from the things Jenna asked him to do.

[Flashback]

Jenna: Scrub my feet and sing _La Vie En Rose _in French!!

Kenneth: _Quand il me prend dans ses bras,_

_ Il me parle tout bas,_

_ Je vois la vie en rose… _

[Back to present]

Kenneth goes in the writers' room and into Liz Lemon's office. He is shocked to see Liz in the same position as he left her.

"Ms. Lemon! You're still in the same place when I left you!"

"I don't know, Kenneth. The tears can't seem to stop." Liz says while eating some Sabor de Soledad.

"Well gosh Ms. Lemon, you can't stay in this position forever. You've got to get home. C'mon Ms. Lemon."

Kenneth helps Liz up to her feet. Liz grabs her bag of chips and walks with Kenneth outside.

***********

Kenneth ends up taking Liz home because of her emotional instability. The door to Liz's apartment opens and Liz and Kenneth enter.

"Kenneth, thank you for bringing me home."

"No problem, Ms. Lemon. Anyway, I've got to get going now – "

"Wait, can you please stay for a while? I may need more comfort," Liz asks.

"Okay, Ms. Lemon. But I can't stay till 9:30 because that's when our landlord gets drunk and starts throwing heavy thinds at ya when you're trying to get in."

"Right… Go ahead, have a seat while I get something to drink."

"Okay."

Kenneth goes over to the couch to try to find a seat but can't because there's chips and popcorn on the cushions. He ends up sitting on the arm oth the chair.

Meanwhile, Liz is opening up a bottle of gin. She comes out with two glasses and the bottle. She gives Kenneth one of the glasses. Kenneth sniffs it, makes a disgusted face and sets the glass down.

"So, Ms. Lemon, what do you want to do now?" Kenneth asks.

Liz finishes her glass, grabs the bottle, refills her drink and says, "I don't know. Do you want to play a game?"

"I know! We should play Murderer. Where one person gets the slip that says 'Murderer' and another – "

"Kenneth, you cannot play that game with just two people."

"Oh, right. How about we play hide and seek?"

"Again, you cannot play that with two people and we're not in elementary school anymore." Liz finishes another drink and pours another one.

"Pin the tail on the donkey?"

"We don't have a donkey."

"Monopoly?"

"A dog ate the pieces."

[Actual story: She threw the parts from the top of her building when she was once drunk. When a house hit someone on the head, she said, "Yeah suck it!!" The person who got hit gives Liz the finger. "Ohh, I'm scared now! Yeah, you just keep on walking, buddy." Then a little later, she throws up over the roof.]

After a long list of suggestions and rejections, Liz has drunk ¾ of the bottle and now she's drunk.

"Well, Ms. Lemon, I'm running out of ideas."

"I know Kenneth. Lessss juss sit heere and taalk." Liz slurred.

"Okay, what do you want to talk about?"

"Kenneth, do you want to be the father of my baby?"

"What are you talking about, Ms. Lemon?"

Before Liz could say another word, she falls asleep on his lap. Liz snores.

Kenneth is bored and kind of hungry so he tries to grab the chips that are on the table. "Don't touch my Sabor de Soledad!!" Liz yells and falls asleep again. She snores even louder.

***********

Next morning, Liz wakes up with a terrible hang over. Kenneth was already awake but still has not moved because Liz was still on him.

"Good morning, Ms. Lemon. Are you feeling better?"

"Ugh, Kenneth, I'm sorry I made you stay all night."

"Oh, it's alright, Ms. Lemon. Although it was a little awkward when you asked me to be the father of your baby."

"What?!" Liz slaps him. "Oh Kenneth, I'm so sorry! I thought that was a dream!! Oh no, I feel so embarrassed!! I'm so, so sorry!!"

"It's alright Ms. Lemon. I understand. I have known quite a lot about empathy. Mostly it's from the movie _Funny Face,_ but I understand that you were hurting and there was nothing irrational about what you did. Except maybe slapping me on the face and trying to touch my man parts while you were sleeping.

"Oh thank you, Kenneth. Can you do me a favour and not tell anyone?" Liz pleaded.

"I will try, Ms. Lemon, but I've kinda lost the gift of keeping a secret."

"What?"

"So if someone comes up to you and asks you about this, please know that I'm very, very sorry."

**********

"So, Kenneth, did you tell anyone?" Liz asks.

"No Ms. Lemon. I think I got my gift back! I didn't tell anyone that you asked me to be the father of your baby!" Just at that moment, Frank walks in and hears the last part.

"What?! You asked Kenneth to be the father of your baby?!?! What the hell is happening to this place?!" Frank asks with confusion and shock.

"Kenneth!! You moronic hillbilly!!!!!"

**THE END…**


End file.
